The journey here.

I've struggled to actually get anything posted or going on this blog..about a year after setting up my site. In all honesty, the site in general (or actually just the idea of its creation) was something weighing on me for 3-5 years. I was starting to actually get hired for something I loved doing...simply taking images others might enjoy, photography. I think that intimidated me, and meant I held myself back. That meant I knew it was just a matter of time that things would start naturally blossoming for me in the world of photography, and to be frank, I was a little overwhelmed. 

So I procrastinated.

I procrastinated on my passion, my love, because I almost wasn't ready for my talent to flower. I wasn't quite ready, and didn't really know how to tend to the garden of my own little photography world.

I kept telling people I was planning to create a site. I graduated from college in May of 2014, and then the idea weighed on me even more because I was entering the "real world" and leaving my guarded life of simply being a student. And this is going to sound super cliché, and I'm just trying to accept & have a good humor about my recent deeper spirituality journey, but I guess I've found how much the world had to teach me outside of being a student of academia...I guess I had to become a student of the world, the universe, and just life in general (in case you missed it, that last bit was definitely that cliché cheesy mess I mentioned). 

So I think after a year or two of being in the real world, I knew something had to budge, and I had to begin to tackle the beast of my passion. If I wanted to create, I had to create. If I wanted people to see my creations, I had to put my creations out into the world for people to see. 

I was working in the world of education, which definitely has importance to me, but ultimately I was longing to do more with my passion. I will give myself credit, and say that I was beginning to put more of my work out into the world via social media like Instagram. It was nice to know that other people liked seeing my work. I was posting nearly everyday I think. Just to get my images out into the world. Now that I think of it, it was (& continues to be) cathartic. 

So I left my job in education. A few months later, I stumbled upon a job in photography. I wasn't super thrilled by the types of photos, but it was a job -a way for me to make money- that would allow me to take pictures all day. I started as a photographer with a company that was centered around catching a baby's "first moments of life." This meant being in the delivery room literally as a baby was being born to catch the first glimpse of its life, the parents' meeting the baby, and some of those first moments that followed- like the baby getting weighed, measured, and bathed for the first time. I would visit the family the next day and capture some sweeter (and more polished, less raw) photos of baby and parents together. Hell, my first time shooting for the job was in a C-Section operating room...which was pretty crazy, but nonetheless exhilarating.

I continued at this photography job for 2 years. I created so many images for so many families..it probably got to at least the low thousands. So many families. But after 2 years of the same kind of photos everyday in the exact same environment with the exact same methodology per company requirements, I started to feel a little burnt out. I wanted more. Or just different. Maybe both. I was starting to do photo gigs on my own outside of work. Outside of the birthing/baby world (which, I admit, I grew to love much more than I ever expected). However, I was starting to photograph really exciting things and I just wanted to be more of my own person when it comes down to it.

BUT remember how I said I photographed so many families? That was a big part of wanting to make a change. I was photographing anywhere from 3-7 families in one day, everyday for 5 days a week, with each family getting about 100 photos (some more, some less). My resources were exhausted. I was using exclusively my own equipment, and my own energy and push. I was just tired and knew I could be doing the same thing on my own and be so much more appreciated. 

After months of considering, I left my photography job of nearly two years with no backup plan. I knew it was just time to make a change. I knew it would be work, but I knew it was time to start getting photo work on my own time. I already had this site up, I already had business cards created that I had already started to hand out to people, I was already getting side gigs. It just felt like it was time.

I decided I wanted part of my website to include a blog so that I could post any new sets, whether paid or not, as they came along. My one rule for myself, though, was that I had to do an introductory post of some sort. Something deeper than my "About me" page. My initial thought was to simply post some of my favorite photos I've taken during the years, but I just kept holding off for some reason. I see now that maybe there was a reason. Maybe so I could dig a little deeper within myself to find more meaning to my passion.

Ultimately, that's what this was. A way for me to get it all "out there," whatever that means. So now, at last, I feel good about posting as I go now. And I feel as though this is just the start of great journey for me. I've finally gotten out of my own way to MAKE. THIS. SHIT. HAPPEN.

Finally. 

Fin.

BUUUT P.S. Still gonna post some cool pics :P